Happy Valentine's Day
12:17 p.m. - 2004-02-13

I haven�t had very many boyfriends in my 23 years. I�ve had three to be exact. The first was realistic fiction. I think I was so surprised that someone I liked actually paid attention to me, that I made him out to be my Knight in Shining Armour that rescued me from the evil clasps of high school boys. Although it seemed that no boy from my high school was interested in me.

The second was a two-month affair with a married man when I was 20. He claimed to have been divorced, but I was more interested in sex then pursuing an actual relationship. After a couple hundred bucks and two months of late night visits, he was out of my life forever without a good bye.

The third came to me by cyberspace. Late one night, after an evening of drinking, I received a message on ICQ that read: Hi, how are you?

It seemed harmless enough, there was no link to some porn site and it wasn�t a supplication for cyber sex. So I replied and the conversation bounced back and forth like a good game of ping-pong. Throughout the next few months, we waited for each other online and talked for as long as possible. We wrote each other letters and sent them via snail mail and one good day we finally talked on the phone. His voice was that of a guy I�d always dreamed of and when he said my name, my heart sank into my stomach.

When he came around:

I thought that the world had lost its way,

It�s so hard sometimes,

Then I fell in love with you,

It�s not so difficult; the world is not so difficult,

And you took that away

You take away the old

Show me the new

And I feel that I can fly when I stand next to you

So while I�m on this phone,

100 miles from home,

I�ll take the words you gave and send them back to you.

--Calling You by Blue October

Every time I hear this song, especially this part, I�m grateful for having him in my life because that�s exactly how he makes me feel.

The first time I heard this song was on my way to class this past August. I was at a stop sign taking a sip from my strawberry-banana smoothie hoping the cop hadn�t seen my expired registration sticker. A few days before, Dan the Man and I had had a horrible fight which had lead to me asking for a break from things. As I sat there drinking my smoothie, I realized that this break wouldn�t last long. How could it? I loved him and he loved me and even though the distance kept us physically apart, it didn�t keep us from loving each other. By the end of the month, I was calling him every third day and talking about ending the break.

We officially ended the break on September 10, 2003. Tomorrow makes two years since we officially started dating, and it�s been two wonderful years. Although we won�t be physically together to celebrate, we still celebrate in our own ways, a box of chocolates in the mail or a journal entry about our love. Although it�s hard, it doesn�t bother me too much because I know that the moment I walk across that stage, he�ll be waiting for me on the other side with a Ryder truck loaded with our things ready for us to head toward the rest of our life together.

Happy Valentine�s Day Daddy

back || forth

Getting linked and saying adios - 2005-01-28
What's going on... - 2005-01-26
Fixed - 2005-01-21
Sex ed - 2005-01-19
And still on the same subject - 2005-01-18