And still on the same subject
9:56 a.m. - 2005-01-18

I broke down last night. All day, I tried to remain calm. I did some studying for the GRE, talked to Billy for a little while, did a little more research on my most recent concern, and watched some TV. When I went to my room to call Dan the Man, he didnt answer, it was busy. I called his cell and no answer. He finally called me back and I had already broken down. I was writing in my paper journal about all my worries. By the time he called, I was already crying. I asked him if I could call him back and he did exactly what I had needed him to do. He said, Babe, dont. Dont make me go. I want to be here for you.

Although that made me feel better, it also reminded me that he wasnt here with me. So then I cried some more. Then I thought about other things that were making me sad and that made me cry even more. Needless to say, I look like a troll today with puffy eyes and all. Later, Dan the Man said, Im sorry I didnt go when you wanted me to, but II just love you.

I think the reason I freak out and think Im pregnant when I dont get my period when expected is because I know what a detrimental effect it would have on my life. I mean, yeah, I guess if I had to I could handle it, especially now that Im on the verge of graduating, but still you know. Its sort of hard. Plus, my graduate school plans would be shot. As it is, I dont know if Im going to get all the things done in time. This graduation thing and applying to grad schools is a real pain in the ass. But anyway.

I called the school clinic to make an appointment to see the gynecologist but there was no answer. Dan the Man made me promise Id make an appointment today or else he was going to call someone. I still dont want anyone finding out about this. If I do tell anyone, it may be Letty from Latinas on the Rise because shes been through this. Anyway, I should get back to work because I have class in a about half an hour.

back || forth

Getting linked and saying adios - 2005-01-28
What's going on... - 2005-01-26
Fixed - 2005-01-21
Sex ed - 2005-01-19
And still on the same subject - 2005-01-18

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