Frustrated
11:43 a.m. - 2004-02-27
I�m wearing a black t-shirt with a bright pink square right between my boobs, the pink square has a cut out of a cross so that the black shows. Religious? Heh, hardly, although, most people look at me and think I�m part of some underground cult. Actually, I�m from la frontera, the border . I don�t care that I get strange looks, it makes people wonder, and maybe they�ll ask and get informed.
So I�m sitting on the stationary bike peddling away staring up at news and they�re talking about same sex marriages. Honestly, what�s the big fucking deal? Shit, it�s not like the 20th century gave birth to homosexuality. It became more acceptable for people to be openly gay and it was about damn time. Wouldn�t it be weird if it were the other way around, where straight people couldn�t get married? Crazy, eh? Who the fuck said straight is �normal�? And who the fuck says what �normal� is anyway?
After a good five minutes of �unbiased� news on same sex marriages, they were talking about how the House passed a bill that would give an unborn fetus rights. What? You know, if I get raped walking home after class, do you think I want to keep the kid if I get pregnant? Hell no. That kid would suffer more if I gave birth to it than if it died before it was born. It may seem wrong to a lot of people and it may seem right to a lot of people, but it only matters what the woman thinks of it. It's a woman�s right.
By the time I got done with my workout, my heart rate was at 180. It�s no wonder why I don�t normally watch the news and instead, gaze at sports recaps during my workouts.
Dah! I was going to write about something and I just forgot! What�s the deal with that?
Oh yeah, here we are, I remember now.
Sunday morning, I'm in the kitchen washing dishes when the theme song for Joan of Arcadia begins to play on the radio. I�m talking to Dan the Man about what I�m planning to have for breakfast and I get this pang of nostalgia in my chest; it almost left me breathless. It hurt so bad; I wanted to see Gabriel so bad. I wanted to know where he was, what he was doing, I wanted to drive him to get a haircut or to buy makeup. But I haven�t heard from him in about three years. I tried looking him up in the Google search and any other search I could find, but came out with nothing. It�s just so hard to let these things go. We were friends for about ten years, TEN YEARS! How can I let that go, how can I let him go? I�ve written a story about him, it�s the other one that Sarah has asked me to submit, but I still can�t let go. Maybe someday we�ll cross paths again, until then, I�ll keep remembering the pickles, purple t-shirts and late night phone calls.
Gabe wasn�t my boyfriend. He was my friend, my gay friend, who later became a drag queen. He gave me makeup tips. He had a boyfriend. They lived in Seattle, and they were very happy, I hope they still are.
Well, I hope everyone has a great weekend. Enjoy the sun, if you can that is. Sit out on the porch have a few beers and talk about life, that�s what I�d do if I had some friends around here.
Getting linked and saying adios - 2005-01-28
What's going on... - 2005-01-26
Fixed - 2005-01-21
Sex ed - 2005-01-19
And still on the same subject - 2005-01-18
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