Dumping the green eyed monster
4:39 p.m. - 2005-01-12

There comes a time in everyone�s life where the green eyed monster just grabs a hold of you and won�t let go. This happens to be my time. He�s had a grip on me since my visit to El Paso. He dropped me off at the El Paso airport and we reconvened in Houston. Now, he won�t leave my side.
It all started December 26, 2005. A Sunday night. For some reason, I went into the bedroom where I had been sleeping until Gabi and Carolina arrived to celebrate the Christmas holidays. When I walked in, I noticed that they were both dressed and perfumed and I asked, �You guys are going out?�
�Yeah,� replied Gabi.
�You guys suck. You didn�t invite me,� I said as I walked out of the room to go lay on the lumpy couch.
A while later, Gabi came out of the room and started to tickle me to which I replied by loudly asking her to leave me alone. When she and Carolina were heading out the door, she grabbed my foot and tried to tickle me and this time I screamed at her to leave me alone. Later, my mom came to the living room and asked why I hadn�t gone out with the girls to which I replied, �They didn�t invite me.�
A couple days later, as we sat at the kitchen table finishing up breakfast, they were talking about going shopping. Since Gabi had borrowed her father-in-law�s pick up truck, only three people could go and the others would have to ride in the bed which sucked because it was cold as hell and she drives like a maniac. When Carolina asked if I wanted to go, Gabi answered, �She has to do her laundry for her trip tomorrow.�
�I wasn�t going to do it until later tonight, but I don�t want to go anyway,� I said trying to stay calm and not cry.
There was some exchange of words, not rudely, but still, you could tell there was tension. In the end, Gabi said to me, �I came here to spend time with the family. You and I can spend time together in Houston anytime. Besides, you said you were looking forward to spending time watching TV.�
This made me feel really left out. I had made that comment about watching TV because I was trying to convince myself that I really did want to spend all that time at my Mom�s. I was not looking forward to going home because of all the events of the past few months. But I had been looking forward to this part of the trip hoping that we could all spend some time together and the whole time, I felt like I was being pushed aside. Needless to say, after I arrived in Redneckville, I didn�t want to talk to her. I called my mom and Carolina because I felt I had to and even then, it was only twice.
Anyway, when I got back to Houston, Gabi called and tried to make me feel bad for not calling, but I wasn�t budging and I wasn�t arguing either. I was trying to forget about it and keep going. Yesterday, while I was at work, she went out to lunch with Carolina, of course, and didn�t even think about inviting me. Today has been pretty much the same.
It sucks because I�ve always looked up to her and often times she has made me feel like I�m a nuisance. In the end all it does in make me feel jealous and angry. I was telling Dan the Man about this and he of course validated my feelings and told me that when he gets here, he�ll always be willing to do things with me. But the jealousy and anger stop today because this is my last semester and soon enough, I'll be leaving. Maybe when I�m gone, she�ll realize what she did. If she doesn�t, well, then that�s just something she�ll have missed out on. I doubt she will though, since she's always said, "You pick your friends, not your family."

back || forth

Getting linked and saying adios - 2005-01-28
What's going on... - 2005-01-26
Fixed - 2005-01-21
Sex ed - 2005-01-19
And still on the same subject - 2005-01-18